Bogosity

Did you ever play that “team building” game where you have to pretend that you’re on the Titanic and the lifeboat can’t take your whole group so you have to decide who to leave behind? I think the supposed point of that exercise is that everyone has valuable attributes and that you can never easily pick someone to leave behind. In reality, I think it is often the case that there are a few obvious non-performers in the group as well as the obvious alpha people who would never be considered to stay behind except when it is their own heroic suggestion.

This hierarchical thinking seems to be built into the way we relate as humans. At two separate family Christmas gatherings I observed a similar scenario to the one in the Titanic game where instead of a lifeboat, it was an outdoor table and there was not enough chairs for everyone. On both occasions, I heard pointed whisperings about children taking spots at the table while adults were standing.

This made me question the way that we form hierarchies in families and the conflicts that arise as family members jostle for positions. These conflicts seem to come to the forefront at times like Christmas where there are often physical symbols of ones place in the family: the roles we fall into as we work together to make the event happen. I remember one Christmas where Steph was told that she was no longer going to pick up the prawns from the seafood markets on Christmas morning because the older siblings didn’t trust us to keep them on ice the whole way. This change of roles seemed to be more about some kind of competition for hierarchical advantage than it did about the actual freshness of the prawns. The older sister who took over the role seemed to be trying to get some kind of status hike on the other siblings at Steph’s expense – or that’s how we interpreted it.

I was reminded again of the Christmas story and the teachings of Jesus: but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant Matthew 20.25-28, also his acceptance of children and his own lowly birth. It seems that a big part of Jesus’ teaching was the idea that we should actively challenge hierarchies or at least change the way that we think about hierarchies and the way power over others is used.