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    Mushy spiritual emails

    Tackling the big issues: I got this in a group email today and thought it was quotable:

    Lovely to have all your emails. Just a quick request. If any of you feels the need to send a mushy spiritual email that has a wonderful message and ends with a challenge to forward it on, please refrain.

    Those emails really are a plague! My Dad and I used to make a point of forwarding them to each other (sometimes with a slightly modified sarcastic message at the end) just to make each other cringe.

    It’s not so much the content as the preachy/guilt trip thing at the end where if you don’t totally buy into the email (including any doubts you may have about the truth of the story) you must be a hell-bound Satan worshipper.

    It’s hard to be too cynical though because usally the person who sent it was really touched by the email and wanted to pass it on in love. Such is life.

    Related Posts:  »West Papua and Youth Spirituality »Spiritual vs Technical »Blessing the Bombs

    Posted: November 24th, 2006 under Blasphemy.
    Comments: 2

    Comments

    Comment from Fancy Wurly
    Time: 28/11/2006, 1:23 am

    yeah… like if less than 10 people read this comment in the next two weeks, I might just do something crazy…

    Comment from djfoobarmatt
    Time: 29/11/2006, 3:07 pm

    Post your examples. I’m starting a collection.
    ——- Original Message——-
    From: ”****”
    Sent: Friday, November 24, 2006 12:47 PM
    Subject: THOUGHT THIS WAS CUTE!

    >> Installing Love
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Yes, ... How can I help you?
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love.
    >> > Can you guide me through the process?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do
    >> > I
    >> > do first?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located
    >>your
    >> > Heart?
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it
    >> > okay to install Love while they are running?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: What programs are running?
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and
    >> > Resentment running right now.
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your
    >> > current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it
    >> > will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override
    >> > Low
    >> > Self-Esteem with a! Module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However,
    >> > you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs
    >> > prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
    >> >
    >> > Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
    >>Forgiveness.
    >> > Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have
    >> > been
    >> > completely erased.
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that
    >>normal?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
    >> > You
    >> > need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error – >>Program
    >> > not run on external components.” What should I do?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to
    >>run
    >> > on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
    >> > non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
    >>you
    >> > can Love others.
    >> > Customer: So, what should I do?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following
    >> > files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your
    >>Limitations.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Okay, done.
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system
    >>will
    >> > overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.
    >> > Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories
    >> > and
    >> > empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never
    >>comes
    >> > back.
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is
    >> > playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves
    >>all
    >> > over My Heart. Is this normal?
    >> >
    >> > Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually
    >> > everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and
    >> > running.
    >> > One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it
    >>and
    >> > its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it
    >>with
    >> > others and return some cool modules back to you.
    >> >
    >> > Customer: Thank you, God.

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